Mad World
by OptimusPrimeAddict
Summary: "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" He was gone, lost, his bonded had been taken away. He'll never see him again, maybe in the afterlife but that won't happen until he's sure he can leave her here alone. Very brief suicidal thoughts and slash, so if you aren't into that, don't read this.


**_A/N:__ Hey, so this is a songfic for Gary Jules' Mad World. I was reading a bunch to songfics then I started listening to music and I just thought of this when Mad World came on. So I hope you like it:) I strongly suggest listening to the song while you read this._  
**

**_~OPAddict_**

**_Disclaimer_****_: I do not own Transformers or Mad World those belong to Hasbro, Micheal Bay, and Gary Jules._**

**_P.S. I'm working on Chapter 7 of Fraternizing with the Past and I'll try to have it up soon:)_**

* * *

**All around me are familiar faces**

**Worn out places**

**Worn out faces**

Lennox was tired of it. He just wanted to lock himself in a room and cry. He wanted to be alone. Because that's what he was now, alone. He'd lost his other half. His bonded, his mate. His Ironhide. The other Autobots and soldiers were there, but they couldn't help despite their best efforts. He was too far gone into his depression, the emptiness he felt in himself, the feeling that something was missing.

**Bright and early for the daily races**

**Going nowhere**

**Going nowhere**

He put up the most genuine-looking fake smile he could muster. He'd fooled almost everyone that he'd moved on. But he hasn't moved on and probably never will. The only ones who knew this were either extremely close to him or are bonded like he was. Was. Primus, he felt so lost. Without Ironhide he's incomplete.

**Their tears are filling up their glasses**

**No expression **

**No expression**

So many others lost loved ones in the attack on Chicago. None like this, but a loss is still painful. These people got the proper time to mourn. Lennox wasn't allowed that time, he'd had a world to help save. Now that the battle was over, there was still debriefing and other things to get settled before he could go home. He still hadn't cried at all, he hadn't called and told Annabelle that Papa was gone either.

**Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow**

**No tomorrow**

**No tomorrow**

Will refuses to show weakness in front of his men. Without being able to let out his pain, everyday seems endless. The depression was eating away at him ever so slowly. He manages to keep it buried beneath fake smiles and bogus excuses. He didn't think he'd be able to keep it hidden at first, but his determination and the thought that Hide would want him to be strong kept him going.

**And I find it kind of funny**

**I find it kind of sad**

**The dreams in which I'm dying**

**Are the best I've ever had**

He would have dreams of being united with his other half in the afterlife. Is it sad that these dreams are some of the most wonderful dreams he's ever had? When he awoke, he always felt guilty that he would so readily leave Annabelle alone in this cold and dangerous world. She was the _only_ thing stopping him from making his dreams become reality.

**I find it hard to tell you**

**I find it hard to take**

It took 5 days to get home. He had to be debriefed, had to sleep, then he had to help with clean up. When he pulled up to his house in a standard military Jeep, it felt so wrong. He should've been getting out of a GMC Topkick named Ironhide who happened to be his bonded, not some Jeep. Annabelle was looking out of the window with the most confused look on her face he'd ever seen. When he got inside, he thanked and dismissed the nanny then pulled his daughter into a hug and carried her upstairs to her room. When she asked where her Papa was, Will's heart broke for the second time in a week. He sat her down on her bed and explained what had happened. The tears were fast to spill and Will gave in and cried with her. After a while, Lennox leaned back and looked his daughter in her teary chocolate eyes.

"Princess, Papa would want us to move on with our lives. We'll mourn, we'll grieve and we'll cry. But after that we have to move on. For him. But there's one thing we'll never do," Annabelle looked at him with questioning eyes, "We'll _**never**_ forget him."

**When people run in circles it's a very very**

**Mad world**


End file.
